I miss you more than I ever thought was possible.  I miss you so much that sometimes it feels like my heart is going to fall out of my chest.  So much that sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs so you can hear me.  It’s the little things I miss.  It’s the phone calls and the times we spent doing nothing that I miss.  The times we were just together, just there, sitting. The silent times.  The endless laughter and the long conversations about life.  I miss falling asleep in your arms, and waking up to kisses on the forehead.  I miss making fun of each other.  I miss cooking dinner together and sitting on pillows on the floor of your apartment eating.  I miss being on your roof, watching all the people walk by below us.  I miss seeing your face outside of the airport whenever I got back into town.  I miss the walks to buy icecream from the convenient store, and the morning coffee runs.  I miss watching you while you worked, staring at you from across the room until you would turn, and look back, and smile.  I miss the feeling of your arm around me, and my hand in yours.  I miss feeling safe with you, like nothing could hurt us, like we could handle anything life threw at us.  I miss doing everything I could just to annoy you.  I miss the sound of your footsteps running up my back stairs.  I miss seeing you smile at me from across the room at a party.  I miss you telling me I’m your best friend.  I miss you shoving me into aisles as we walked through walmart.  I miss your tourettes man and arnold schwartzeneger impressions.  I miss you sitting in the bathroom pooping and yelling at me to play you back in words with friends.  I miss the talks about our pasts, and the excitement we shared of our futures.  I miss you tackling me to the ground, drawing penises on my back with sharpies.  I miss the sound of your laugh, and all of the “goodnights”.  I miss eating all of your food.  I miss the smell of your apartment, and your pillows.  I miss you singing to silly songs at the top of your lungs.  I miss holding on to you tight, and screaming, as you’d whip around corners on your scooter.  I miss driving around in your car, throwing things out the windows.  I miss the sound of your voice, and how you made me feel like anything was possible.  I miss having someone to tell all of my stupid dreams and pointless stories to. I miss how mad you made me. I miss building things with you, and working on the jet ski in the garage.  I miss your kisses.  I miss how you made me feel.  I miss how you could make me laugh harder than anyone.  I miss the times we weren’t doing anything, but were perfectly content.  I miss my best friend.

I just miss you.  It’s the little things I miss.